Gently Coming Back — A Practice for Fractured Focus

I’ve always struggled with focusing for long periods as a child but lately, I’ve been noticing just how fleeting it can be. Sometimes it lasts a few seconds, sometimes a couple of minutes, but very rarely does it stretch beyond 15 or 20 minutes without interruption. And when I say interruption, I don’t just mean the obvious things like emails, chat notifications, or the clinking of a coffee cup. I mean anything — a shift in my thoughts, a glance at my phone, a sound from another room, my daughter’s voice, my husband needing something, or even the soft tread of my cat Dusty curling up beside me.

It’s not always the world that breaks my focus — sometimes, it’s just me.

What I’ve realised is that fractured focus isn’t a personal failing. It’s just part of living in a world that constantly demands our attention. But what matters more than the distraction itself, is what I do after I notice it.

That moment of awareness — that “oh wait, I’ve drifted” — is gold. It’s not a failure. It’s the doorway to a reset.

Thoughts Are Not the Enemy

I once did a meditation from Tara Bach titled “A Pause for Presence”, and she said something that stuck with me: “Thoughts are not the enemy.” At first, I resisted that. Weren’t thoughts exactly what pulled me away from the task at hand? But over time, I’ve come to understand: the practice isn’t about not thinking. It’s about not staying gone.

Using my willpower to gently bring my awareness back — that’s the practice.

Try this simple 11 minute meditation here – A Pause For Presence | Tara Brach

Letting Go of Resistance

Another piece I love comes from Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. He talks about how our stress, irritation, and unease don’t come from the moment itself, but from our resistance to it. We don’t want this moment — we want another one. A better one. A perfect one.

But when I stop fighting what is, when I drop the resistance and let life be as it is — that’s when I soften. That’s when presence returns. That’s when focus becomes a companion again, instead of a battle.

I heard it on kindle but it’s worth having a hard copy too – The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment : The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment: Amazon.com.au: Books

Where Awareness Goes, Energy Flows – A Teaching That Changed Me

One of the most powerful teachings I’ve come across is from Dandapani, a former monk and spiritual teacher, who says:

“Where awareness goes, energy flows.”

This line hit me like lightning the first time I heard it (via the app). So simple, but it gave me a new way of looking at my distractions. When my focus fractures and I keep circling in the same anxious thoughts or an emotional trigger, I remind myself – I’m pouring energy into it. Not on purpose, but by default.

However, here’s the powerful bit – I can steer it, I can choose. This does not mean pretending the chaos is not happening. It means saying: yes, the circumstances are messy, but my awareness doesn’t have to stay tangled in them. I can guide it – to the task to

• The task i want to complete
• The emotion I want to cultivate
• The vibration I want to hold

This practice has been especially grounding reminding me that I have agency. And the more I choose where my awareness flows, the more empowered I feel. Check out the book here – The Power of Unwavering Focus: Practical Tools to Heal the Mind, Restore Joy, and Direct Your Awareness to What Really Matters : Dandapani: Amazon.com.au: Books

Here’s the practice I’ve been leaning into

1. Awareness of the Distraction
   • I try to catch myself with curiosity, not criticism. “Ah, my mind wandered. I got pulled away.” Sometimes it’s a random thought, sometimes a noise, sometimes an emotion — but the key is just recognizing, without judgment, this is not where I meant to be right now.
2. The Reset
   • This is a silent breath. A pause. A moment of internal rest. Not a sigh of frustration, but a gentle stop. Almost like clicking the ‘home’ button on my own consciousness.
3. Bringing the Attention Back — Gently
   • The word gently is everything here. If I try to force it, my body tenses, my mind resists. But if I say softly to myself, “Come back, let’s try again,” I feel my nervous system relax. The task doesn’t feel so tiring anymore. I can keep going. And when I practice this loop of awareness-reset-return without judgment, I find I’m not just doing the task — I’m becoming more present to it. More at peace with it.

Here’s a free downloadable 3 step Mindfulness Reset – The Multitasking Generalist

Focus and Time Management — Not the Same Thing

A big myth I’m breaking up with is that better time management means squeezing in more tasks. For me, it’s become about going all in with whatever I choose to do — not spreading myself thin, multitasking between three things, and wondering why nothing feels fulfilling.

The deeper I go into a single task, the more I value flow over the illusion of productivity. That’s my new measure of success: Was I fully there for what I chose to give my time to?

Keep on Going

So today, if your focus fractures — don’t panic. Just notice. Pause. Gently return.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep coming back.

Because maybe the real art of mindfulness isn’t staying perfectly focused all the time — it’s remembering how to come home to yourself again and again, without force, without shame. Just presence. Just grace.

Think About It

Have you ever practiced noticing how your awareness drifts? How did you respond to that moment?