Balance vs. Obsession: Finding Your True Equilibrium

Obsession or Balance – Which One Wins?

When I watched Ad Astra over the weekend, one scene stopped me in my tracks. Brad Pitt’s character finally reunites with his father, played by Tommy Lee Jones, only to hear him say: “I never cared about you, or your mother. I only ever cared about space exploration.”

It’s brutal. It’s honest. And yet, it’s strangely admirable. His father didn’t say, “I don’t love you.” He said, “I love space exploration more.” Even in his final moments, he chose to let go and drift into space, loyal to his obsession.

That moment sparked a thought: what’s the opposite of balance? For me, it’s obsession. And maybe that’s not a bad thing.

The Case for Obsession

Obsession gets a bad reputation. We’re told to avoid extremes, to aim for moderation. But without obsession, there’s no real drive. Survival itself raises the stakes—when something matters to your very existence, you’ll fight for it.

History shows that many breakthroughs, from scientific discoveries to artistic masterpieces, came from people who pursued their calling with relentless focus. As psychologist Angela Duckworth argues in her work on grit https://youtu.be/H14bBuluwB8?feature=shared, long-term passion and perseverance often matter more than talent (Harvard Business Review).

Why Balance Still Matters

But obsession without balance is a crash waiting to happen. Too much hustle without self-care burns you out. Too much pleasure without purpose leaves you empty. I’m not talking about the famous (or infamous!) work-life balance. I’m referring to the mind-body-spirit balance. I’m talking about harmony!

I still remember being captivated in a high school physics class by an experiment on equilibrium. Two forces, perfectly opposed, holding steady. That’s what balance is to me: the dance between chaos and order, survival and comfort, consumerism and sustainability. Spiritual teacher Dandapani puts it simply: balance is about managing priorities – splitting time proportionally not evenly. I guess it’s a matter of semantics (differing interpretation of words) In the same vein, I balance should be purposeful and personalized (Dandapani). Listen to his talk here – https://youtu.be/lYjDQzQIgpY?feature=shared

Balance vs. Obsession: A False Choice

Here’s the truth: balance and obsession aren’t opposites. They’re partners. Obsession gives us direction – the thing we can’t not do. Balance ensures we don’t destroy ourselves on the way.

Think of it as having “skin in the game,” as Nassim Nicholas Taleb describes it (Farnam Street). You commit fully, but you also prepare yourself to survive setbacks. You chase your obsession, but you keep enough of yourself (and your skin!) intact to enjoy reaching the goal.

We live in a time where physical survival is less of a concern, but mental and emotional survival often hang in the balance. That’s why we need both: the fire of obsession and the stability of balance.

Think about it

What’s your Ad Astra moment—the thing you’d drift into space for? And how are you balancing that pursuit so you don’t burn out before you get there?