How I’m Finding Myself by Doing Absolutely Nothing

Doing Nothing

This week I’ve been practicing doing less and less. Even nothing. As a Homo Sapiens with a brain and cells in the body, we’re never really doing ‘nothing’. Even when we’re still and unmoving, we’re resting, repairing, healing, remembering, releasing, realising, retaining, clearing, becoming. We are coming home.

Rest. Pause. Be Present. Be Available.

This is the most important work – Rest. Pause. The best part is – it asks nothing of you but to be present, to be available. To heal you. For many years my self-worth was tied to how many things I got done in a day. I was in warrior mode burning through things despite the fatigue. The after-effects were a cocktail of feeling triumphant of ticking off the to-do list like a gunslinger from the wild wild west mixed with the bone-deep fatigue of a perpetually exhausted pigeon.

Epiphany

And then came the epiphany. Not in one single moment but over the course of many years. Every time I overextended myself, the body obeyed but the mind questioned back, was it worth it? And for a long time, the answer was Yes. Not anymore.

It wasn’t long ago when I came to another realisation, unsurprisingly, while laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. “I don’t want to do life anymore, if it’s not fun.” This was not a borrowed quote or thought. This was my soul speaking to me. Boy, it felt good. The honesty, the clarity. The simplicity. The authenticity. A potential life-changing epiphany hiding in plain sight.

The ancient cultures got it right

Humans are “patternistic” (my own word!) The idea of doing nothing is not new. Infact the Chinese culture has a word for it – Wu Wei. Living in Wu-wei is to be in the natural flow of your eternal essence. The Japanese call it Ikigai, flow state. Then there is Nivritti in Hindu philosophy, is the path of withdrawal from the world and turning inwards. Niksen, a Dutch word, refers to the practice of purposefully doing nothing, with the aim of reducing stress and fostering creativity. Il dolce far niente, meaning “the sweetness of doing nothing,” celebrates the pleasure of idleness and enjoying simple moments, like having a coffee or watching the waves. The Italians know how it’s done!

Social Stigma x Pros and Cons

One of the reasons we struggle to see rest as a true necessity is the way stillness gets misunderstood. In so many cultures, slowing down is framed as laziness, and we’re taught that value comes from constant motion. The irony is, the more we push against rest, the more disconnected we become from what we’re working for in the first place.

I believe there are only pros, aka advantages to this approach, but depending on your lifestyle you may, as I did experience some cons, aka unpleasantness. Evident from m example earlier, those moments of ‘idleness’ gave me emotional clarity. There was a mental reset that helped my intention for the day – “Have fun in everything you do!” “Smile 😊”

The downside – this sudden change in my demeanour and actions invited some envy, raised eyebrows and some confused looks. Some resistance from the naysayers and nonbelievers. The unpleasantness dampens my spirits. But then I remember, there’s nothing a 60 minute walk cannot fix, even with stalkers on your back!

Think about it

When was the last time you truly did nothing—not scrolling, not planning, not achieving—just existing in the moment? And how did it feel?