Impermanence and the Human Need for Security

The Constant Dance of Impermanence and Security

The defining quality of life is impermanence. So why do humans crave security and certainty? It’s a difficult concept to grasp.

There’s a kind of forgetfulness about impermanence. Most of us don’t think death is around the corner. I certainly didn’t—until recently, when an article in Breathe magazine https://pocketmags.com/au/breathe-magazine/issue-040/articles/be-here-now on impermanence stirred something in me. Suddenly, I was scared. I thought to myself: But I don’t like impermanence. I want things to stay the same. Of course, I only meant the good things.

The idea that life is always changing—that everything you have at this moment, today, this month, this year—may be gone tomorrow, is deeply unsettling. And the hardest part? There’s nothing we can do about it.

This realization raises a confronting question: what is this incessant need for security and certainty in humans? Why are we wired this way?

The Beauty Hidden in Impermanence

In Buddhism, impermanence—or anicca in Pali—is a fundamental truth. It teaches that everything is transient and constantly changing. As disturbing as it feels, there is also an undeniable beauty in impermanence. We are mortals spinning in the vastness of an infinite, ever-expanding universe, surrounded by a forever-changing reality. And this change, though uncomfortable, is what makes life vivid and alive.

So how do we respond to this truth in a way that honors it?

For me, the answer lies in presence.

When you’re fully immersed in the moment, time expands. A single minute feels fuller than usual. If you fear time slipping away, presence is the key to slowing it down. Yet most of us do the opposite—we rush ahead, anticipating the next moment and missing the one we’re in.

Human brain and our need for Security

In an article on pychologytoday.com Dr. David Rock explains how human brain hungers for certainty as it does for bread, for touch, for desire. The same ancient circuits that drive us to seek warmth and sustenance sound alarm bells when the future grows uncertain – something is wrong. Focus scatters. Presence frays. Uncertainty gnaws like a subtle ache, a shadow-pain the mind cannot bear. And so we reach for certainty, not unlike a balm, sweet and rewarding often clinging to it tightly.

Navigating Impermanence

Impermanence shakes us. It can make the heart heavy with grief for what’s gone, or restless with fear of what might slip away next. But here’s the paradox – it’s the same truth that can set us free.
When we stop fighting the fact that nothing lasts forever, we start tasting life more fully, moment by moment. The joy feels richer because we know it won’t stay forever, and the pain feels lighter because we know it won’t either. Here are a few ways to navigate impermanence with more grace:

• Acceptance – Life is motion. Nothing stays the same, no matter how tightly we hold on. Fighting change only multiplies our pain, but leaning into it softens the edges and makes room for ease. I wrote an article on managing change, read it here – The Multitasking Generalist
• Mindfulness – To pause and truly notice is to awaken. The present moment holds a beauty that slips away if we’re too busy fearing its end. Mindfulness teaches us to witness it before it fades. I wrote an article on mindfulness, read it here – The Multitasking Generalist
• Finding Meaning – Every shift, every ending, carries within it an opening. What feels like loss may be the soil for new growth, and with the right perspective, even struggle can become the spark for transformation.
• Gratitude – Joy isn’t diminished by its impermanence. In fact, its brevity makes it more precious. Gratitude lets us drink deeply from what’s here, without needing to own it forever.

Think about it

When you realize that everything you love will one day change or vanish, does that thought feel like devastation, or does it awaken you to live more fully, right now?