Self‑Love Not Selfishness: Finding Alignment Through Yoga and Breath

The Cultural Guilt of Indulgence

Growing up, the concept of selfcare didn’t exist. Even the smallest act of care for oneself was often dismissed as indulgence. The mentality stems from selfless service, putting others first before yourself. Selfless service has its beauty – it teaches humility and generosity. But when it becomes absolute, it leaves no room for self‑nourishment. A mother often gives until her last breath and is conditioned by nature to put her children’s needs before her own. A father buys gifts for every member of the family except for himself. In the process of giving we often omit ourselves. We forget that we also need to fill our own cup. True self‑love is not indulgence – it is alignment.  

We often confuse self‑love with selfishness, but they are born from very different roots.

• Self‑love grows out of love itself. It is expansive, nourishing, and compassionate. When we practice self‑love, we care for ourselves in ways that ripple outward, allowing us to show up more fully for others.
• Selfishness, by contrast, springs from ego. It is narrow, defensive, and grasping. Selfishness seeks to take, while self‑love allows us to give more freely because we are already filled from within.

You are the Engine

In one of my recent posts, I talked about how self-care is not a luxury – it’s a divine responsibility. One of the biggest ways to care for yourself is through self-love. How can we achieve this? For a long time, I struggled with this concept. You can only love, give, hug another. How can you do that to yourself? Superficially speaking, you ‘give’ yourself presents and experiences like you give to others which, I think is great place to start. Not every gift is measured in money.

On of my favourite personal development coaches, Lewis Howes reminds us in a recent talk that our health is our own greatest wealth engine. If we neglect our bodies, we neglect the very source of our energy. Listen to it here – https://www.youtube.com/embed/jvsrQa39-QI?si=Jhm_0UNpqh-w3a6e

Yoga and Breath Meditation – My personal journey of Self-love

The Body’s Embrace

Yoga was something I was naturally attracted to. While growing up it was mainly the physical health benefits that were talked about, in more recent years I’ve discovered its benefits on the mental wellbeing and high performance. I see yoga and meditation as a way to gently wake my body up and establish a connection with myself before I connect with the world. Each posture (asana) becomes less about performance and more about honouring your body’s limits and strengths. Moving gently, with awareness, is an act of kindness toward yourself.

The Soul’s Rhythm

Breath meditation is an invitation to befriend yourself. Observing your breath is an inner dialogue with yourself. By consciously breathing, you send yourself the message: I am worthy of care, I deserve space to breathe. As the great spiritual leader Thich Nhat Hahn put it the breath mediation – in, out, is very simple yet very powerful practice. He says that this simple practice enables us to be here and now, where we have an appointment with life. Give a listen to this talk on breath meditation.

The Heart’s Anchor

While there are many types of yoga and meditations, it’s important to choose the style that is conducive to your goal. My goal is to give myself the same love that I give to my loved ones. Instead of striving for perfection in poses or stillness, I approach yoga and meditation with compassion, allowing imperfection to be part of the practice. I do this by directing my awareness to my physical sensations and the breath. When my awareness drifts to worry or planning, I gently bring it back to the ‘now’, where I have an appointment with life.

When we approach yoga and breathwork from this place, they become more than physical or mental exercises—they become acts of devotion to the self. And in that devotion, we discover a deeper resilience, a steadier balance, and a gentler way of being in the world.

5 Tips on Loving Yourself through Yoga and Meditation

• Affirmation with Breath: Inhale with a phrase like “I receive love”, exhale with “I release judgment.”
• Heart‑Opening Poses: Incorporate asanas like camel, cobra, or bridge—each paired with slow, mindful breathing to physically embody openness and self‑acceptance.
• Meditative Journaling After Practice: After a yoga + breath session, write down one thing you appreciate about yourself. This ties the physical and mental practice into emotional self‑love.
• Mantra Breathing: Choose a self‑love mantra (e.g., “I am enough”), and silently repeat it with each breath cycle.
• Mindful Closing Ritual: End each practice by inwardly thanking yourself for showing up.

True self love is the quiet recognition that we are worthy of the same compassion we so readily extend to others. When we approach yoga and breathwork from this place, they become acts of devotion to the self. And in that devotion, we discover a deeper resilience, a steadier balance, and a gentler way of being in the world.

Think about it

What’s the one thing you can do today to connect with yourself and find peace within the chaos?