Growth Mindset vs Teamwork – Shine without Outshining

I remember many emotions from my childhood but there’s one that stands out more – the feeling of being dissatisfied with myself. Whether this was a result of harsh criticism and discipline or a personality trait I’m unsure, but it forged a growth mindset in me. Always wanting to do better, trying and failing, then trying again, leveling up and seizing the day.

But I’ve learnt the hard way that not everyone is wired that way.

Shining without Dimming

I prefer not to shrink myself just to fulfill the unspoken expectation of appeasing others’ insecurities and managing their feelings. In fact, I accept you as you are.

If you find peace in tradition, convention and conformity, I respect your approach. I only ask for that acceptance to be reciprocated.

Don’t expect me to tone down my fire and curiosity, my hunger to learn and my need to explore. I’m not here to offend with a performance. I only aspire to live vibrantly and evolve.

That said, I also learnt the hard way that leaders don’t like to be outshined, and colleagues don’t like to feel small (even though that’s never my intention). Growth mindset, ambition, confidence and assertiveness can be threatening to people especially in a work environment, where compliance and conformity rule the roost.

The Middle Path

So where’s the middle path?

For me it starts with, firstly, acceptance, that not everyone wants to grow. Some find happiness in comfort. Comfort means safety and familiarity. And that’s okay. I live by the mantra – Live and let live.

Secondly, it’s about working with service and empathy, not ego. It’s not about winning or outshining. It’s about giving every task my 100% because I believe in creating better outcomes for the team.

Thirdly, I value connection over ambition. Fostering a good working relationship within the team is far more rewarding and more likely to get the job done than steamrolling your way ahead alone.

Steps to Balance Drive with Team Harmony

So here are some tips (tried and tested) that can help you balance your drive for growth without creating friction in team settings:

1. Check your intent before you speak – Before sharing a suggestion, ask yourself – Am I trying to contribute or just prove something? This self-check grounds you in service not ego.
2. Practice Active Listening – Growth minded people often want to solve things fast. But sometimes people just want to be heard, not fixed.
3. Match your energy to the room – Learning the art of tone-shifting and adjusting your volume will allow the team to be open to listen to you.
4. Use ‘we’ more than ‘I” – Language reflects mindset. We reflects a collaborative mindset.
5. Create space for others to shine – Resist the urge to always answer first and invite others to answer instead. Sometimes, it’s knowing when to step back!

You see, the real flex is not ‘growth at all costs’, it’s growth that lifts the whole damn table.

Think about it

Have you ever felt like your growth made others uncomfortable? How did you respond?